Quick Hits

MONDAY MEANDERINGS

WHICH WAS SLAPSTICK?

Quick Hits in wonderland. As in:

- Wondering what the problem was with the TV during parts of Saturday's Bears-Bills game on Ch. 32. (that's No. 12 on Comcast; thankfully, ''Stooge-A-Palooza'' was working one channel over). Then again, the Bears and reception troubles are nothing new -- although they usually occur on the field, not on the TV screen. Guess that's the revolting part of the digital revolution.

- Wondering whether Jay Cutler will look more impressive in the Bears' second exhibition game when he has Matt Forte in the starting backfield.

- Wondering whether White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen -- during these dog days of the baseball season -- will start to consider a short leash for starter Jose Contreras.

- Wondering whether any actor has worked as much with Cubs fandom to promote a non-Cubs movie the way Jeremy Piven did Friday. He appeared at Wrigley Field for the seventh-inning stretch and co-mingled before and after the game at the ballpark's Captain Morgan Club and at Harry Caray's Tavern and Italian Steakhouse.

- Wondering how dogged the Eagles' pursuit of quarterback Michael Vick was.

- Wondering whether it was coincidence that Vick signed with a team that wouldn't be playing in Cleveland having to face the fans in the Dawg Pound.

- Wondering what Denver football fans are thinking after Kyle Orton threw three interceptions in his Broncos debut. Quick Hits thought he would have saved those for the regular season.

- Wondering how Orioles outfielder Felix Pie became the fourth player in team history to hit for the cycle. He did so Friday. The former Cubs star-of-the-future barely hit for the cycle with the Cubs when he had two doubles, a triple and a homer among his 20 hits in 83 at-bats last season.

- Wondering whether the weather is the only thing that can stop the Cubs (well, at least when their opponent is the Pirates).

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JERSEY BUOYS

Quarterback Jay Cutler (below) has made a big impact with the Bears -- at least off the field. He had the best-selling jersey at NFLShop.com from April 1 to Aug. 7, and the Bears are second in team merchandise. Cutler had been ranked 17th. The leaders:

PLAYERS 1. Jay Cutler, Bears 2. Troy Polamalu, Steelers 3. Ben Roethlisberger, Steelers 4. Tony Romo, Cowboys 5. Mark Sanchez, Jets 6. Tom Brady, Patriots 7. Terrell Owens, Bills 8. Michael Crabtree, 49ers 9. Eli Manning, Giants

10. Adrian Peterson, Vikings

TEAMS 1. Steelers 2. Bears 3. Cowboys 4. Giants 5. Patriots 6. Eagles 7. 49ers 8. Packers 9. Broncos

10. Redskins

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BLISS-FUL SIGHTING

LINGERIE TEAM GETTING IN FOOTBALL SHAPE

Imagine going to Comic Con two weekends ago and seeing members of the Lingerie Football League's Chicago Bliss.

Quick Hits didn't have to use any imagination at all.

In a booth at the Stephens Convention Center were Eileen and Brooke encouraging passers-by to become fans of the team that is to open its season Sept. 4.

So how's the team shaping up?

''The team's doing awesome,'' linebacker Brooke told Quick Hits. ''We're really coming along [in] conditioning, agility, skills.''

And the football skill level?

''Everybody who has seen us has been very impressed,'' she said. ''They thought we were just going to be a bunch of girls tossing the ball around, dropping the ball. But we're all actually out there full tackle. We all have war wounds, and we're doing really awesome.''

And what's it like to be dressed in a Bliss uniform and not be the person wearing the most outlandish outfit?

''I feel like I fit in,'' Brooke said. ''For once I'm very comfortable.''

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OLD-SCHOOL SCRIBE

JENKINS GIVES NOD TO HOGAN

For writer Dan Jenkins, 79 is par for the course.

Mainly because that is his age.

It's merely a number.

As is 201, the number of majors that he has covered in an illustrious career.

The scribe was among those escorted by golf officials to chat with the media over the weekend at the PGA Championship.

Asked if he had any breaking news that he would like to share, Jenkins said, ''I'd like to say something amusing, but I'm under contract to Twitter this week, so I can't.

[Fellow longtime golf writer Bob] Verdi asked me, 'How long are you going to keep doing this?' I said, 'I'm not qualified to do anything else.' So I'll be here until they carry me out, and the message on my tombstone will be 'I knew this would happen.'''

Gee, the guy converses as well as he writes. Which is saying something.

Jenkins' top five golfers of all time?

''I'll have [Ben] Hogan No. 1. I never saw him play, but how do you leave out [Bobby] Jones? Hogan, Jones, Byron Nelson, Sam Snead, Tiger [Woods], [Jack] Nicklaus. That would be five or six. Hard to go up against that. Right now, until Tiger beats Jack, he's going to stay in the middle. But if he ever passes Jack, he'll move up to -- nobody is ever going to top Hogan for me. The greatest shot-maker that ever lived. ... But maybe some day Tiger will be No. 2.''

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MORE PHOTOS ONLINE

Can't get enough Quick Hits? Look at our daily photo gallery on our Web site: www.suntimes.com/sports

Color Photo: Efrem Lukatsky, AP / Quick Hits wonders what it's like to be flexible. Maybe Aliya Yussopova of Kazakhstan, performing at the rhythmic gymnastics World Cup in Kiev, could enlighten. ; Color Photo: Jay Cutler ; Color Photo: Special to the Sun-Times / Bliss players Eileen and Brooke talk a good game to patrons at the recent Comic Con in Rosemont. ; Color Photo: Dan Jenkins ;